Ay! Big Bitch! You don’t have enough flowers in your hair.
Man in the 14th Street Subway station In his defense, I am only wearing one flower in my hair today. In other news, I think Big Bitch is my new MC name.

You looking good in that green dress, ma. You looking like a boomcookie.
man on my block. I really hope “boomcookie” isn’t something vulgar.

Big Girl! Big Bitch! Slow down! I wanna read your pants!
-man on 14th St and 3rd Ave.

I totally forgot I was wearing newsprint leggings until this ignoramus screamed at me.


"Darlin’, you need to give me that hair." -old lady on Marcus Garvey

That’s what I love about living in Bed Stuy. Fly old women who let you know sideways that they’ll rock your look better than you.


"I’ma call you Miss Bakery ‘cause you got all the cake."
-man in a crowd of dudes in front of Apex Technical School

"Big Girl! I’m gonna let you do my hair someday!"
-Man in production crew shooting on the street near my job. First time I’ve ever been catcalled to be someone’s hairdresser.

Damn, thickness…you can’t walk down the street without anybody bothering you, can you?
Man on Classon after witnessing another dude catcalling me.  I’m all like, “Keen observation, Clarence.”

Shazam! I like your earrings! You a good looking woman. Look like a young Aretha Franklin. I would try and kick it to you, but it’s snowing.
Man standing on stoop near my bus stop. Note to self: Cold weather is good bugaboo deterrent.

Ooh! She is bouffante! I need that!
young queen in a purple wig on Nostrand Ave.

Pretty lady, why don’t you say hello to me? I want to be your friend.
man on Marcus Garvey who calls me “Evil Woman”. The next time I run into him, I will tell him it’s because he’s disrespectful and creepy. Friends don’t let friends harass people on the street.